Study hard to go to Daystar!

Amunga Lavenda

I hear that being at Daystar university is heavenly. People like me don’t go there, lest we embarrass ourselves during lunch.  In fact, my friend Makori tells me he visited a long time friend of his at Daystar last week. 
He says the guy had changed, resembled our president, all bossy, composed and in a well pressed suit with a matching red tie. And no sooner had the clock struck one that this ally of his loudly uttered “ Let’s go for high tea!”  

 I bet Makori embarrassed himself since he refuses to tell me what his answer was but rather stresses that Daystar isn’t for the common mwananchi. He must have explained that he’s only used to normal tea since high tea contains harmful chemicals… To cut this long story short, high tea means lunch!

You see, us comrades in these normal schools remain hopeful despite the sea of hopelessness we’re in,that one day, while Matiang’i will be cruising through various public universities, perusing through transcripts of each student, he’ll point at our transcripts and declare: Let this one go to Daystar!

Still, that place remains divine. It’s the kind of place where a security guard drives himself in a Chevrolet to the washroom and comes out side by side with the VC, where the guard then requests to drive the VC to his office and eventually bid each other ‘good day, see you at lunch!’

I hear when a student spots a lecturer feeding on a malnourished looking burger, he immediately suggests: Sir, your health is our greatest wealth, let me buy you a healthy meal. And together, they walk (most likely hand in hand) to the school cafeteria- probably has a better name. Boy! Is that school celestial! 

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