Pull up your shorts,boy!

Lavenda Amunga


These boys I see in school dressed in tattered smelly shorts that Matiang’i would highly condemn, need a beating. Shorts worn from the knee, by confused looking boys with kinky lice, jigger, ebola infested hair have no place in society. You see, when Matiang’i starts declaring war on university students, these are the people to begin with…not the likes of me.

Years ago, when I had fallen prey of the devil’s ways, when I listened not to mother nature’s pieces of advice due to my diabolic adolescent stage, I dated those types of boys. I saw marriage materials in what my mama would have referred to as ‘stupid boys of doom’.

A tall lanky lad with red bulbous eyes and a laughable swing added to his walk would bring a toothy smile to my face, those days. When he opened his mouth and presented his tobacco stained teeth that seemed to have phobia for paste, it would melt my heart further. But, those were the days. And they are long gone. Judge me not; I am better than the 33000 students who spent the better part of their four years in high school scrambling to get the most githeri at lunch and supper, only to get Es by the end of their stay.

This is a new era. These boys deserve a beating! I mean, who still wears their pants from their knees in university, if not persons who escaped the wrath of Matiang’i in high school by a whisker? Let it be known that he is coming for them; and he’ll pull those shorts down completely! Forgive my constant mention of Matiang’i…it’s just that ‘ametustua sana huku university’ I’d rather be in his good books.

Speaking of ‘where to wear your shorts from’, yesterday while I bought sukuma ya 10 kwa mama mboga, I couldn’t help but notice her son. He had his shorts on alright, and it was pulled up just right. Come to think of it, mama mboga’s son may not be a bad idea in my near future. I mean,he pulls up his shorts!

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