Campus babes are becoming more and more expensive and demanding each day. In fact, with the rise in prices on consumables, the jamaas in campus are almost on their knees, hoping against all hope that the campus babes won’t come up with an ultimatum that is out of this world! It’s hilarious how men nowadays struggle to get a lady to utter a word. Worst is when they hit a dead end, you’ll hear them whisper among themselves, ” Ule manzi anajisikia sukari!” The common jamaa does not understand that the needs of a campus girl ought to be met. In order to fit into her wish list, there is usually a to-do list to be followed. There are a number of men that no campus babe would want to be associated with, so to get her talking, avoid being either of the following…
- The Crier
Trust me, no campus girl wants a cry baby to deal with. I understand, there comes a time when emotions not withstanding, too much love in the air perhaps- the man might shed a tear. Still, it does not mean that every time an issue arises, the man wails. Men should grow up, i mean, even Jesus wept only once! Be the man in the relationship and keep calm. I’d rather an argument erupts and the man decides to say a silent prayer but cry? Why? Probably these crying types are tolerated in marriages though when it comes to a campus girl, it should not be the case. A girl wants a man. Someone who is ready to tie her laces or be the one to wipe her tear when she cries…but not the other way around. Try and eavesdrop into a girls’ conversation and hear one mention, “My guy started crying yesterday when i said we were over!” Honestly, the responses you are bound to hear are pieces of advice to drop the dude. No girl wants a cry baby.
2. The Fixer
Whoever told men that they could turn water into wine or could move mountains, was a liar. A terrible liar who should be ashamed of his deeds. That person ought to be spanked! Campo babes do not want people who think they can fix everything. Say, in my kabedsitter, I wake up one morning only to find that my toilet handle is broken and so I cannot flush the loo. I tell myself that I’ll have to pour water manually, till the day i can afford a plumber. This is the time my ‘mzito’ now decides to prove his love for me by equipping himself with any tool he sees fit, including my spoon ya 20 bob, to fix my toilet! Man, nobody wants a man who believes in himself so much yet actually knows not what he is up to. By the end of the day, my bedsitter will be flooded and messy, all in the name of my fixer trying to do the fixing. At times, all one has to do is accept that he cannot do it. I know we want to see how able you are, how skilled you are, but we do not need you to show off- that all this, I am able to perform. NO!
3. The Sagger
Every girl appreciates a man with class. A man who knows how to dress, how to look good; but nobody appreciates a guy who needs to be reminded to keep his shorts in place. Ladies with guys who’ve got fashion are the ones in the best relationships. A campus babe wants to walk around campus with this guy wearing a scented cologne. This person dressed in white well fitting sweat pants and a v-neck T-shirt that exposes his well defined muscles ,a gucci watch to match, awesome tattoo on his neck or wherever and great red shoes to finish the touch, will be the talk of the day in school- he knows how to look good.
Now, compare this type of guy to this one who has no plans, arrives late in class and despite having disrupted the whole session, wants to hi-five every buddy of his and force a hug on every lass near him. His bare butt cannot be missed because his shorts are almost on the ground. To add insult to injury, he keeps on holding his crotch as he passes his hand expecting his people to shake it- whoever told him that makes him look classy, I do not know.
4. The Touchy
Some bros just do not understand the rule of keeping their hands to themselves. These are the kind of boys that fascinate yet bore me at the same time. I mean, why would anyone on this earth feel great about being touched unnecessarily by a guy who does not even have what it takes? I recall being in an intense class a few weeks ago, seated next to this lad. Out of the blues, i feel some cold diabolic demonic hand trying to make its way up my thigh. You try to glance at the owner of the cursed hand and you just cannot place his expression with his action. He looks so non-committal, his eyes focused on the lecturer, it is only his stupid hand up your thigh that remind you of the sin he is almost committing. The touchy kind are the worst. They seem deaf, that when you try to stop them they take hours to decipher. They are mostly those that never speak to you but admire you from afar. The day they sum up their courage, all they can think of is their hands up your skirt. These kind are the demon possessed!
5. The Penniless
A girl wants a man who will spoil her with lots of love and gifts. This may not be the case but a campus girl believes that the man that loves her is he who showers her with gifts. What good therefore will a penniless jamaa do? A guy who will have to feed from your pockets each day; a burden that is uncalled for. This is the type of guy every girl is fleeing from -as if a man in his final stage of Ebola, who not even a pastor would want to share The Word with. The campus girl believes that this kind of man is a parasite, ready to pounce on its host as she remains distracted in her undying love for him. Therefore no one wants to be caught up in a love triangle with this one for he clears up your account completely. He is the kind that clears your HELB loan before you even sit down to plan on it. He is known as the killer disease.
Being in any of this category means a man in campus will never get chance to be loved truly by a campus babe. So I’d rather one flees from either of these characters before it gets too late. Trust me, everyone ought to enjoy the love game in campus before getting themselves into the real deal after school!