Take me back

Don Benzo


All humans are social beings. It is in our nature to look for companionship and love in our time on earth. We all need someone at some point in our lives, be it for procreation, recreation or just friendship. No man is an island. I hope up to there we are in agreement. The problem comes when commitment is thrown into the works. Commitments is the mother of all lies, heartbreaks and disappointments. I do not in any way condone cheating, I’m just saying it happens. It’s one of those bitter realities of life. One day, someone you love will break your heart, crash your soul and shake the core of your entire existence. That’s life, what I have a problem with is the persistent lying even after you’re caught. Walking around with a self-righteous swagger leaving a trail of skeletons long enough to make the Nazis look like saints. Karma is a fickle mistress. Bearing that in mind, I have decided to write my future scorned girlfriend a letter. It’s not that I’m planning to cheat, but in case it happens I want to be prepared.

This letter will take an unfamiliar format, with the heading loaded refreshing honesty of Christopher Martin a Jamaican musician and the body littered with insolent banality of an inexperienced Kenyan teenager. Here goes nothing.

Will you take me back, I know I broke your heart. I know I promised heaven, took you in circles then left you in hell. I know I promised not to be like everyone else but ended up to be the exact replica of the cliché blueprint. I know I promised to be there for you when you are down but I let you fall on the hard rock of my empty promises and broken lies. I know I promised our relationship will be bliss but it ended up being a petri dish full of heart ache and misery. I know I came in your life kicked everything upside down in the name of spontaneity just to leave you in a turmoil unable to find your way back to happiness. I also know I can’t make all this wrongs and disappointments right, even if I write a million poems. All I can ask is for you to allow me to make you one more promise. After all the broken promises I know it comes off ironic, but if you take me back, in your life I will never cheat again.

And if you tell me that, I will dedicate my life solely to making you happy. Wipe your tears and help piece back together your heart which I broke to a million pieces. I will pick every shard of your heart and fix it in its place even if it means cutting myself in the process. And those Rose flowers that you like so much, I will make sure you get a bouquet every morning you wake. I know I said they are a cliché, thorny and they smelled funny but now I understand why you love them. They are supposed to remind me that you might appear ordinary and mundane but if I run my fingers through the branches I will find your edges and thorns. Thorns that make you unique, you and a gem to be valued.  Now I know that, your absence has made my heart to grow fonder for you, knowing that I caused you sorrow wrinkles my soul. Please forgive me, and I will value you for the gold bricks that you are and not dimes that I took you for before. Say the word, and you’re mine, I won’t deceive again.

So if you take me back what’s mine will be yours.  You will be like my window, giving me clear view of the good things that lie in my future and I will be like the rain ready to fall and wash your pain away. We will hold hands and face the world together. Remember when we first met? It was us against the world, will we ever find our way back there? I want us to try again. Let’s find US again. Remember when we sat at the balcony and watched clouds envelop the moon? We sat there blissfully unaware of time as it passed by, as the cold faded away overpowered by the beating of two hearts merging into oneness. Do you remember that time we filled an empty wine bottle with Coca-Cola, dimmed the lights and  lit a candle pretended to be in a savvy hotel in Vienna having an expensive romantic dinner. I remember all that. I miss all that. I want all that back. There is only one person I want it with. YOU. I know I am the one who put all this in jeopardy but I promise never again. But if I can’t keep my promise. I will do my best never to be caught again.




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