The other day I was holding court with the boys at one of the campus hostels, I don’t remember exactly what we were talking about but I am sure it was about chillez because it is the university and men cannot leave on bread alone but on every knickers that he sheds. In campus as men we are not judged by the content of our character or by the color of our skin (maybe a little by the color), we are judged by the number of our conquest and the depth of your pocket. I know, vanity will be our downfall.
Okay back to my story.
One of the guy retorted, “Maze, hizi vitu sisi huita umama zinakuaga form, kama udaku na lollipop”. Thinking about it now, he was right. Men love gossip just as much as the ladies. If not more. Yeah men, I said it. You can get your knickers in a twist all you want but you all know it’s true. You want to get the grapevine of who is the hottest girl, who has hit what, which girl has a sponsor, which two jamaas are unknowingly tilling the same land. Which student leader is pillaging the most from the union’s coffers, which lecturer is sexually inducing degrees et al. just pitch tent in one of those campus men clicks and count to ten. The stories are usually so catchy and comprehensive you cannot get yourself to leave. I like listening to these stories. I can follow strangers to their homes just to get to hear how the story ends. I know. I’m an embarrassment to the male gender just by virtue of admitting it. I get points for honesty though, no?
Here is one fresh from the creeper. A friend of mine was giving it to me about this girl currently on the conveyor belt. The conveyor belt is the term used when describing a girl being subtly passed from a guy to another. This chiq was passed to him from his friend and apparently she became to clingy and wanted more than he could give (read relationship) so this cat decided the whole situation was getting out of hand. He did what any other gentleman would do, forwarded her to another friend of his. You know what the saddest part is, she never learnt. She is still making her rotation. I don’t care how this girl decide to experience her sex life. I’m just assuming she is a big believer of variety being the spice of life. But I got to ask is this girl just dumb or is she being deliberately obtuse.
By the way if you are waiting for this story to connect to how men love gossip just stop. It already has I’m gossiping right now. What bees my bonnet is the fact that men define machismo by such things. My point is, I have no point I’m just a bored person with a colorless life looking for some information to peddle. Word of advice though, not all the gossip are worth listening. Like this one afternoon we were chilling, shooting breeze and cracking wise with the boys talking football girls and whatnot. Then this cat joined in and out of nowhere started volunteering information on how he and his girlfriend like doing the nasty. It was so painful to listen it felt like swimming in a sewer line. It really sucks when someone interrupts my quality talk with their below par gossip. I don’t know what the measuring scale for exciting gossip is but if you stick around the talk doesn’t seem to improve on your boredom, walk away and do something constructive with your time like say read a novel or just sleep.