‘Yaliyo ndwele sipite!’

Lavenda Amunga

Based on true story of Bill Owiti

is

…but again, the new sage on the block, Wavinya Ndeti, was actually right when she meticulously came up with the adage that goes, ” Yaliyo ndwele sipite.” Come to think of it, there is a meaning.

Ladies are a people I would never want to be associated with, ever again. Sadly, thanks to them, i lay on my bed distraught, broken and without a care of the world any longer when in real sense, i ought to be psyched up for the coming best general election of all time.

Phena, you were my kryptonite. When i set my eyes on you at the swimming pool, your skin glowing perfectly in the sun, your kinky hair already bringing an incredible image of how our kids would resemble. How i wanted to see you those eggshell white teeth once again. My heart gave in when i saw you a second time after class. You took my breathe away in that sexy outfit. You were my revelation of a great future after I had sworn never to fall in love again. You changed my perspective on ladies completely. I adored you Phena.

Love, how i spit in spite at the thought of it. Just like everyone else you were a green snake in green grass. I curse vehemently the day i continually posted your lovely breathtaking photos on social media and changed my status to ‘In a relationship’. Why would you even agree to a date if you were not head over hills for me in the first place? After I struggled to acquire your number from your friend, after I begged you for a week to go out with me before you finally agreed! I  mean, if mother nature knew that the son she left at Multimedia University of Kenya to study for his future was in the streets begging a mere girl to go out with him, she would slap the lights out of me.

When I would skip a meal to take you out for the time of your life… Oh! I used to see those guys as a bunch of miserable losers until the song they sang felt like my messed up life (Uliza Kiatu!) I never thought I could say this but, you broke me girl.

I bitterly shut my eyes and remember that not-jovial-you that stood in front of me, with no sense of humor and without bluffing blurted out: Love for you died. I don’t feel you no more. Just because I was the silent type who did not converse often like you wanted. Just because I took you to my cousin’s house yet you expected me to take you to my place. I mean, girl, I felt you were worth a bigger place unlike my bedsitter! You were a diamond that deserved to be placed carefully in its rightful place, but i guess you did not see that.

It is quite disappointing that we only lasted 3 weeks. Instead of giving these girls room to break me further, I’d rather ponder over my predicaments at school, for I have made up my mind: #MUNGUNAMASOMO.

So when Wavinya Ndeti opened her mouth and uttered those words, she made sense, to me especially, that what happened in the past should always be a wake up call.

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