Holiday Chronicles #2

Don Benzo Just got home from the longest semester in campus. You know, after the lecturers decided that the almighty shilling was more important than nourishing the minds of the future generation and went on that long ass strike that saw us having two more months added to our already lengthy semester. Getting home for the holiday came as a relief. It also presented that … Continue reading Holiday Chronicles #2

Holiday chronicles #1

Don Benzo She pressed a blue button immediately below the steering wheel and the gate obsequiously rolled to the side and paved way for the Pajero to pass. She lived 45 minutes from Eldoret town. Calling it an estate will be apt but not quite. It is more like a village seasoned with modernity. The houses were far apart. When I say far I mean … Continue reading Holiday chronicles #1

5 Types of Men The Campus Babe Detests

Lavenda Amunga   Campus babes are becoming more and more expensive and demanding each day. In fact, with the rise in prices on consumables, the jamaas in campus are almost on their knees, hoping against all hope that the campus babes won’t come up with an ultimatum that is out of this world! It’s hilarious how men nowadays struggle to get a lady to utter … Continue reading 5 Types of Men The Campus Babe Detests

Pull up your shorts,boy!

Lavenda Amunga These boys I see in school dressed in tattered smelly shorts that Matiang’i would highly condemn, need a beating. Shorts worn from the knee, by confused looking boys with kinky lice, jigger, ebola infested hair have no place in society. You see, when Matiang’i starts declaring war on university students, these are the people to begin with…not the likes of me. Years ago, … Continue reading Pull up your shorts,boy!

Yes girl. I am a stingy man.

Collins Osanya. Welcome. Have a seat. Man to man – including my esteemed  female friends who consume chips mwitu, avocado ya twenty plus mayai boilo na kachumbari ya chilli before washing down the light snack by drinking Guinness kubwa and later on ‘remove’ cheeky air from their tempting behinds whilst shaking their bum bum to Flavour and Akothee’s Give it to me hit. You too … Continue reading Yes girl. I am a stingy man.

Study hard to go to Daystar!

Amunga Lavenda I hear that being at Daystar university is heavenly. People like me don’t go there, lest we embarrass ourselves during lunch.  In fact, my friend Makori tells me he visited a long time friend of his at Daystar last week.  He says the guy had changed, resembled our president, all bossy, composed and in a well pressed suit with a matching red tie. … Continue reading Study hard to go to Daystar!